Many years ago there was an Emperor so exceedingly fond of new domains that he spent all his money on a vast collection. He had a domain name for everything and instead of saying, as one might, about any other ruler, “The King’s in council,” here they always said. “The Emperor is on Google”.
Every day many strangers (agency types etc) came to town, and among them one day came two marketers. They let it be known that a new LTD was to be launched, and they said that everyone with a .com or .co.uk would be missing out if they did not purchase a .co domain. However these domains were magical as everyone knows people always forget to put an “m” when typing a .com and completely miss out the “.uk” when they type .co.uk addresses, however anyone who questioned if they would show on Google for local searches in the UK was clearly unfit for their job, or was probably stupid.
“Those would be just the domains for me,” thought the Emperor. “If I buy them I would be able to discover which people in my empire can’t see my sites on Google and so are unfit for their posts. And I could tell the wise men from the fools. Yes, I certainly must get some of these new domains right away.” He paid the two marketers a large sum of money to get all the names he wanted.
They set up many domain name companies and pretended that they would register all the domains, taking a small fee should they not be successful during the sunrise. “I’d like to know how those marketers are getting on with the domains,” the Emperor thought, but he felt slightly uncomfortable when he remembered that those who were unfit for their position would not be able to see the sites on Google of the kingdom.
“I’ll send my honest social media guru to the marketers,” the Emperor decided. “He’ll be the best to tell me using the power of the Twitter and looking deep into the Facebook, he could crowd source what’s going on, as no one is better at it”.
So the social media guru sent a tweet to the marketers, who replied via Facebook with a link so the social media guru could see the sites on Google. “Heaven help me, I am on Google.co.uk and I can’t see any .co sites showing up.” But he did not say so.
“What do you think of the sites,” said one of the marketers. “Ah, great idea dropping the “m” and “.uk” from domains made it so much faster for me to type in to the browser” said the social media guru. The marketers at once asked for more money for more domains, and it all went into their pockets because after all they were selling a dream to people who were too late at buying a .com or .co.uk domain they really wanted.
The Emperor was growing impatient, he had told the entire kingdom that his new .co sites would be live on Google soon so he went with his noblest noblemen, and the marketers pointed to the screen of results and said “these are the sites,” naming each one.
“What’s this?” thought the Emperor. “I can’t see anything listed on Google.co.uk. This is terrible! Am I a fool? Am I unfit to be the Emperor? What a thing to happen to me of all people! – Oh! It’s great,” he said. “It has my highest approval.” And he nodded approbation at the empty screen. Nothing could make him say that he couldn’t see anything.
“Magnificent! Excellent! Unsurpassed!” were bandied from mouth to mouth, and everyone did his best to seem well pleased. The Emperor gave each of the marketers the front cover of the kingdoms marketing news scroll, and the title of “Sir .Co’ck”.
The Emperor was now ready to let his subjects see his latest domains, they could now go on Google.co.uk and find his sites. The Emperor told everyone via his Facebook page about his new .co domains and asked for feedback. Everyone pressed like and left comments “Oh, how great are the Emperor’s new .co’s! Aren’t they so easy to find on Google.co.uk!” Nobody would confess that they couldn’t see anything, for that would prove them either unfit for their position, or a fool.
“But I have been on Google Webmaster Tools and you can’t change the Geographic target associated with .co as they are automatically set by Google as being in Colombia,” a little child posted.
“Did you ever hear such innocent prattle?” said his Father in a follow up comment, “where is the unlike my child button”. And all of a sudden one person tweeted to another what the child has said, “You can’t set the country on a .co, Google rightly thinks they are in Colombia”
“You can’t” the whole kingdom of real Internet experts cried out at last.
The Emperor shivered, for he suspected they were right. But he thought, “Dam I spent a fortune on these quicker to type in than .com or .co.uk domains, that are great for branding as I finally can get poor man’s version of the .com/.co.uk I really wanted, guess I best flip them to some clueless Emperor before they all find out.”
This was of course an adaptation of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Hans Christian Andersen, hope you enjoyed it and remember folks, just cause it looks and sounds shiny doesn’t mean it will sparkle when you get it 😉